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"The Drainage Dance Song"

By Dr. Hamsterfuzz

Dr. Truman B. Awesome and I were making our rounds when a doctor asked us if we could see her patient in a private kidney dialysis room. “Of course!” we said.

The 3-year-old girl was standing on top of the examining table with tubes coming out the sides of her body. Parents and staff were trying to get her to move around so that a build-up of fluid would drain down the tubes. I looked at Dr. Awesome and said, "You know the Drainage Dance Song, don’t you?" He answered with a resounding, "Yes!" and reached for his percussive shaker. We made up a fast, rockin’ song on the spot, complete with shaker solo. "You hop on your feet to the rhythm and the beat, then you dance all around ‘til the fluid runs down!"

Music flowed out of the clowns, and the fluid flowed down the tubes, as the little patient enthusiastically jumped up and down and danced from foot to foot. As we left the room full of smiling staff and parents, we added a new prescription to our clown doctor remedies: “The Drainage Dance Song—vivace, fortissimo, four/four beat! To be taken to the last drop!”

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